Denique Odonnell

Why I’m Supporting 20Talk – My Story

This is something I’ve carried quietly for a long time.

After the birth of my first child, what was meant to be the happiest time of my life became one of the darkest.

I experienced postnatal depression but at the time, I didn’t even realise that’s what it was.

Instead of facing what I was feeling, I masked it.

I threw myself into partying. I drank more than I should have. I told myself I was just “blowing off steam” or “finding myself again.” But the truth is, I was running. Running from the heaviness. Running from the guilt. Running from the overwhelming sense that I wasn’t coping.

And in doing that, I missed moments.

Moments that were meant to be joyful. Moments I can’t get back.

From the outside, I probably looked like I was managing. Social. Fun. Still “me.”

But inside, I was unraveling.

The mental battles were constant. The guilt of not feeling the joy everyone talks about. The shame of struggling when I had a beautiful, healthy baby. The intrusive thoughts. The exhaustion that went far beyond lack of sleep. The quiet belief that I just wasn’t cut out for motherhood.

And the ripple effect was real.

It impacted how I showed up for my child.

It impacted my confidence as a mother.

It impacted my family.

And it deeply affected my relationship with my partner.

When you’re struggling mentally and not communicating it, walls go up. Resentment builds. Misunderstandings grow. I wasn’t present. I wasn’t emotionally available. I was either withdrawn or distracted. Instead of leaning on each other, we felt further apart.

The hardest part was the silence.

Feeling alone while surrounded by people who loved me. Being scared that if I admitted how bad it felt, I would be judged or seen as ungrateful. Terrified of being labelled a “bad mum.” So I stayed quiet.

And in staying quiet, I stayed stuck longer than I needed to.

Staying stuck eventually led to one of the stupidest mistakes I’ve ever made  a decision that came from pain, not clarity. A choice that impacted my life in ways that felt unimaginable at the time. It hurt people I love. It hurt me. And it forced me to confront just how far I had drifted from the person I wanted to be.

But sometimes rock bottom is the place where honesty finally begins.

Through support, hard conversations, accountability, and professional help, I slowly began to rebuild. I learned that numbing pain only delays it. That avoidance always catches up. That healing requires courage — and humility.

I had to sit with uncomfortable truths. I had to forgive myself. I had to repair relationships. I had to learn healthier ways to cope. It wasn’t quick. It wasn’t pretty. But it was necessary.

I am not the same woman I was back then.

I am stronger. More self-aware. More compassionate especially toward myself. I understand now that mental health struggles don’t make you weak, but hiding them can make them heavier.

And now, I’m choosing to revisit that chapter not from a place of shame, but from a place of purpose.

I’m supporting 20Talk because mental health conversations matter. Because postnatal depression is more common than we admit. Because no mother should feel she has to mask her pain with a smile or a drink just to survive.

I want my children to grow up knowing that emotions are safe to talk about. That struggling doesn’t mean you’re broken. That asking for help is brave. I want them to see that we can face our darkest seasons and use them to create light for others.

This fundraiser isn’t just about raising money.

It’s about raising awareness.

It’s about breaking generational silence.

It’s about creating homes where mental health conversations are normal.

If sharing my story helps even one mum feel less alone — it’s worth it.

If it encourages one person to reach out instead of numbing their pain — it’s worth it.

If it helps my children grow up in a world where speaking up is strength — it’s worth it.

Thank you for supporting me.

Thank you for supporting this cause.

And thank you for standing for a future where we break the stigma — together. 💛