Emily Harlock-Knights

The Ripple Effect

When we talk about mental health, we often talk about the individual who is struggling. What we don’t talk about enough is the ripple that is left behind when someone loses that battle.

I have lost some of my closest friends to struggles that, at the time, I didn’t fully understand. They were people I loved, people I laughed with, people who were part of ordinary days and important moments. And then suddenly, they weren’t there anymore.

That kind of loss doesn’t end with one person.

It moves through friendship groups, families, workplaces and entire communities. There are empty seats at celebrations. Birthdays that come around every year. Songs, places and stupid jokes that suddenly carry a completely different meaning. There are people left wondering what they missed, what they could have said, whether they could have done something differently.

And life keeps moving forward, but the absence moves forward with you.

As I’ve gotten older, and particularly through working with young people, I’ve thought a lot more about what we can do before someone reaches that point.

We tell young people to speak up. We tell them that it’s okay not to be okay and that they should ask for help. But simply telling someone to talk isn’t enough.

They need to believe someone will actually listen.

They need adults who notice when something has changed. They need spaces where they can say, “I’m not doing well,” without worrying about being judged, dismissed, punished or becoming a problem that needs to be managed.

And sometimes they need us to recognise that the young person who is angry, withdrawn, disengaged, difficult or seemingly doesn’t care may actually be communicating something they don’t yet have the words to explain.

Our young people need a voice, but they also need to know that their voice matters.

That is one of the reasons I’ve chosen to complete the 20 Hours for 20Talk Challenge.

There is something incredibly significant to me about spending 20 hours in silence for a cause centred around helping young people find their voice.

For those 20 hours, I’ll have the privilege of knowing my silence has an end.

For too many people struggling with their mental health, silence can feel much harder to escape.

I can’t change what happened to the friends I have lost. I will always wish they had been able to stay. I will always wish there had been another conversation, another opportunity, another moment where something might have been different.

But I can carry them with me in what I choose to do now.

We need to keep building communities where young people are given the language to understand what they are feeling, the confidence to speak about it and, most importantly, people and services ready to listen when they do.

Because supporting youth mental health isn’t just about preventing one person from reaching crisis.

It is about that person, their family, their friends and every life connected to theirs.

The ripple effect of losing someone can last a lifetime.

Imagine the ripple effect of helping them stay.

20 Hours of Silence for Youth Mental Health.

I’m taking on the 20 Hours for 20Talk Challenge which will see me sitting in a 2×2 metre square in a warehouse, alongside 400 other participants, with no talking and no technology for 20 hours. All I’ll have are the essentials I bring with me: a chair, sleeping mat, journal, water, and food. No distractions.