My Story
When I was 11 years old I was able to recognise that I wasn’t just sad, I had developed depression. Due to bullying in school, a dysfunctional family home life, and struggling to fit into the social norms. I had a big family but I didn’t always feel very supported. A lot of the time I felt alone and like there was nothing I could do, I might just be this way forever.
When I got into high school it got harder. Travelling 1hour to school every morning on a bus, sitting alone most days. Trying to fit in with a new friend circle. Academic challenged, social anxiety, and a lot of self-loathing.
When I was 14 I took myself to the School Psychologist office and asked for an appointment. They told me, it doesn’t really work like that here. With tears in my eyes I begged for them to let me talk to someone and so they gave me an appointment. After my first appointment with the school psychologist she made the choice to have me come in for regular appointments. 1 hour out of class every 1-2 weeks. I was finally starting to feel heard.
The following year the practicing psychologist changed. And so I was back at the start. But each year was the same. I would go in on the first week of the year, beg for an appointment, and after each first appointment they would agree to keep seeing me. This went on for all 5 years of my highschool journey. I tried to keep it a secret from my family and friends. I thought they wouldn’t understand how lonely and sad I really felt, that I really needed someone to talk to, that was on my side, with no judgment. Eventually people started to figure out, and as I feared I was bullied and shunned for needing the help.
But I knew within myself, that 1 hour that I had every 1-2 weeks made a huge difference to the way I felt about myself and the way I took on my life challenges.
In this time I also sought out a GP Dr to prescribe me antidepressants without my parents knowing.
When I finished highschool I spent a year still in my home town, I had multiple jobs, tried online studying. I was trying to firgure out who I really was and what I wanted to do with my life.
The following year I moved to the city to start my University Journey. Which ended up lasting only 1 week and 3 days before I had a complete meltdown and told myself I couldn’t do it. I felt so stupid, so alone, so different to everyone around me.
So I went out and got a job instead and made the decision to look for a Psychologist. Someone I could be honest with about my feelings and get guidance on my self sabotaging behaviours.
Life in the city was so different to home, and living with different family members I was treated so differently. I had some good days and a LOT of bad days. Ups and downs but the depression never ceased.
From the age of 11-21 depression and anxiety was an every day challenge that I had to overcome. But I know If I hadn’t sought out the professional help through those years it would have been a lot harder to cope. Having just 1 person that I could speak my absolute truth to and actually be heard, respected and helped with how I felt.
For 2 years I saw the same psychologist for 1 hour every 2 weeks. I grew a lot, learnt a lot, and changed a lot.
With-in this 2 year period I spend a total 8 months dipping in and out of a psychiatric care hospital. The stays helped me get on regulated medication, learn healthier coping skills and learnt how to change my thought patterns.
But then due to unforeseen circumstances I had to move back to my home town at the beginning of 2019. I had no professional there to talk to and help me get through the tough times I faces.
At the age of 21 I made 4 attempts to take my own life But today I am able to say Thank the Lord none of those attempts were successful. I was in a very dark place but now I had so many eyes see how dark it really was inside of me.
After a bit of recovery I chose to adopt a dog, for a sense of responsibility and unconditional love. She was a rescue with a bit of her own trauma too but she loved me from the first day we met, and I loved her.
After 2 months with my dog Lola I made the decision that I would move back to the city. I had only been back home for 8 months and knew I had to get away.
I saved up some money, organised a room to rent from a family friend and made the move back to the city.
Still struggling with depression, anxiety and suicidal ideations. But when even I felt low I just held my Lola, she was my reason to stay. No one could love her the way I did and it was my job to make sure she lived a happy life too!
I went back to the psychologist I had been seeing the years before and continued to see her for another 5 years.
Having the privilege of being able to access professional help through all those years gave me so many opportunities to change and grow. After seeing the same psychologist for 7 years straight I changed to a new psychologist to try some EMDR therapy in am attempt to overcome my reoccurring traumatic nightmares that I suffered from every single night.
I got a new psychiatrist to help manage the many medications I am on and signed myself up for group therapy classes in Acceptance Commitment therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
In the end of 2025 I made a decision. Self-loathing and thoughts of death were no longer going to control me! I was going to set a 5 year goal, something I had always been too afraid to do. I was use to living day by day, week by week and just getting over each challenge as I faced it.
Making this goal lead to me making a lot of changes to my life. I released and let go of many things and even people that no longer served my highest good in life. This was painful and challenging and even bought through feelings of grief and loss. I am still in the process of shedding a lot of my old patterns and behaviours.
But this year, 2026, with my future goals in mind I choose to start over fresh. I am living for me and I choose to live a life that I love. I still struggle day to day with life’s challenges and CPTSD symptoms but I never stop growing.
I am currently 27 years old, about to turn 28. Quitting smoking, started walking my dog regularly, eating proper meals 3 times a day, doing regular meditations, journaling and manifestation rituals and practices. I am taking care of my body and my mind.
I chose to take on the 20Talk challenge for a chance to self reflect on my life up until now. Re-access the facts and plan for a brighter future. I know now I am not alone in this challenging journey of life. I have many supporters near and far and I know I am now strong enough to take on any challenges that life has to throw at me. I will only grow stronger!
For myself and all my loved ones
In order to raise funds for mental health charity 20Talk, I'm going to take on the challenge of sitting in a 2 metre square box for 20 hours with no technology and no talking. This challenge will be a small look into the day of someone struggling with mental health. All I will have is my own thoughts, a journal and a chair to sit on.
So why am I doing this?
We have all been touched in some way or another by the reality of mental health. It can be dark, lonely, and confronting.
Structurally, the statistics are still alarming..
- Suicide still remains the leading cause of death for young people aged 15-44.
- Only 2% of mental health funding goes towards prevention (Mental Health Commission 2022)
I'm completing the 20 Hours for 20Talk to turn these statistics around. Your contribution goes towards 20Talk's relatable prevention campaigns. They are a mental health charity that makes education cool and accessible, for young people by young people.
Your generous donations go towards:
- Every $120 puts a young person through a one day Mental Health Maintenance cours
- Expanding 20Talk's online resources and 60,000+ social media community
- Running large-scale interactive mental health events
By improving mental health literacy, removing harmful stigma, and encouraging professional help-seeking we are preventing people from getting people into crisis in the first place.
Thank you for taking the time to read this post and for donating to the cause. Hopefully this small challenge can help change someone’s life.
If you ever need to chat, I’m always here. Love you all and thanks again!
Hope u reach your target